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This summer Stranger Than Fiction cast members will interview each other… with silly questions. This week David Chevalier and Jon Wellington. Check back for a new interview each week!

DAVID: If you could eliminate one thing, would it be BO, vampire bats, or mustaches?

JON: Vampire BO (bet you saw that one coming). One of the frustrations with vampires lately is that they have become lame. Between Twilight and that Showtime show True Blood, vampires have become these smelly, emotionally unstable soap opera acting idiots. I want Nosferatu 2, where all he does for an hour and a half is beat up the common 21st century vampires who are too busy putting on sun screen and looking for love.

DAVID: What is your favorite kind of pain?

JON: My favorite kind of pain is physical pain. It’s tangible and you can touch it. It always comes from a source and as oppose to emotional, mental or spiritual pain you can usually easily identify that source of your physical pain and rain your own physical pain down upon it.

DAVID: How would it make you feel to find out you were a doppelganger of
the real you?

JON: I was slightly surprised when it DID happen but when I killed the other Jon Wellington (Won Jellington) years ago I felt released –a lot like Jet Li in the movie where he has to kill himself in all alternate universes making himself stronger. The day I destroyed myself and realized I was the evil twin I was hurt, but then I jumped and found that I could go 2 inches higher than I could earlier that day. It made everything worth it.

DAVID: What is the best shark?

JON: I like the tiger shark. It is brutal and smart. I want a tattoo across my entire back of a shark fighting a panda. I feel it symbolizes the raging battle within my soul.

DAVID: Please name three noises that can scare a puma.

JON: In all seriousness, a puma will not attack something unless they have stalked it and assessed that it can be taken without too much of a battle so… the sound of a bigger puma, the sound of man, the sound of a man in puma sneakers.

Have more questions for Jon Wellington? Drop him a comment.